The last time I was single I had no responsibilities other than attaching my future goals into the present. I was in school and in love. Once married, my responsibilities increased at a manageable rate through graduation, getting a job, building a career, having a child, and another, and another, and another. I guess my duties grew when my wife was diagnosed with cancer, but we were holding it together. I had her and her steadiness.
Once Dona died, I had not only my responsibilities but hers also, and I think some neither of us had. Go figure. Still had the job, still a business owner, still a father, but now exponentially more.
So, man, you find yourself single again. Get ready for work. You may want to wave the white flag, but who’s going to take your surrender? Life takes no prisoners, just casualties. No, it’s up to you now. You’re the man; this is your ballgame.
Being male means being in possession of certain body parts. Being a man means taking up your responsibilities.
In this upcoming blog series, I’m showing survival tips for us single men with responsibilities. No, these tips won’t help you if you’re on Survivor or stranded on Lost, but that’s child’s play. This is real life. No commercial breaks. You don’t even get down time for technical difficulties. Your kids need fed… and raised. The bills still need to be paid, the dust still settles, and the grass still grows. Food left too long in the refrigerator will still spoil… and boy, will it! (Next blog: Tackling the beast known as The Refrigerator.)
It’s a shame, but not a thing stops when you have a change of status.
As some obnoxiously say, “Life goes on.” Goes on? Life more like runs you down.
Whether widowed or divorced or dumped, you’ve found yourself without a partner and with more burden. But you can do it!
If you don’t do it, most likely it’s not going to get done. And there’s consequences to that.
This first short blog is let you know you can. Heck, if I can, anyone can. Don’t get blown away by the to-do list. Don’t get sidetracked by other people’s agendas… and they’ll have them for you and won’t hesitate to tell you. But that’s okay, they’re only trying to help. They’re being human: Trying to control an uncontrollable situation.
Don’t even get sidetracked with my rants. Take what you need, leave the rest. There’s only a few things that really matter. Jesus told Martha that. He’s telling you. Take it from Micah:
“He has told you, O man, what is good, and what does the Lord require of you but
•To do justice
•To love mercy and
•To walk humbly with your God.”
At the outset, let me say that this blog is not for the expert cook or the perfect housewife. This isn’t Food Network or Better Homes and Gardens.
This is for us guys forging a life from wreckage, men learning the basics that will set the women smirking about our idiocy. Never you mind them. They weren’t born with their know-how; they had to learn it, too.
This is for guys trying to survive.