Guys Trying to Survive: Single with Responsibilities


To Do List photo credit: john.schultz via photopin cc

Single Then

The last time I was single I had no responsibilities other than attaching my future goals into the present.  I was in school and in love.  Once married, my responsibilities increased at a manageable rate through graduation, getting a job, building a career, having a child, and another, and another, and another.  I guess my duties grew when my wife was diagnosed with cancer, but we were holding it together.  I had her and her steadiness.

Once Dona died, I had not only my responsibilities but hers also, and I think some neither of us had.  Go figure.  Still had the job, still a business owner, still a father, but now exponentially more.

Single Now

So, man, you find yourself single again.  Get ready for work.  You may want to wave the white flag, but who’s going to take your surrender?  Life takes no prisoners, just casualties.  No, it’s up to you now.  You’re the man; this is your ballgame.

Being male means being in possession of certain body parts.  Being a man means taking up your responsibilities.


In this upcoming blog series, I’m showing survival tips for us single men with responsibilities.  No, these tips won’t help you if you’re on Survivor or stranded on Lost, but that’s child’s play.  This is real life.  No commercial breaks.  You don’t even get down time for technical difficulties.  Your kids need fed… and raised.  The bills still need to be paid, the dust still settles, and the grass still grows.  Food left too long in the refrigerator will still spoil… and boy, will it!  (Next blog:  Tackling the beast known as The Refrigerator.)

It’s a shame, but not a thing stops when you have a change of status.

As some obnoxiously say, “Life goes on.”  Goes on?  Life more like runs you down.

Single Again

Whether widowed or divorced or dumped, you’ve found yourself without a partner and with more burden.  But you can do it!

If you don’t do it, most likely it’s not going to get done.  And there’s consequences to that.

This first short blog is let you know you can.  Heck, if I can, anyone can.  Don’t get blown away by the to-do list.  Don’t get sidetracked by other people’s agendas… and they’ll have them for you and won’t hesitate to tell you.  But that’s okay, they’re only trying to help.  They’re being human:  Trying to control an uncontrollable situation.

Don’t even get sidetracked with my rants.  Take what you need, leave the rest.  There’s only a few things that really matter.  Jesus told Martha that.  He’s telling you.  Take it from Micah:

“He has told you, O man, what is good, and what does the Lord require of you but

            •To do justice

            •To love mercy and

            •To walk humbly with your God.”

At the outset, let me say that this blog is not for the expert cook or the perfect housewife.  This isn’t Food Network or Better Homes and Gardens.

This is for us guys forging a life from wreckage, men learning the basics that will set the women smirking about our idiocy.  Never you mind them.  They weren’t born with their know-how; they had to learn it, too.

This is for guys trying to survive.

Be Sociable, Share!

, , , , , ,


  1. Michele November 20, 2013 #

    Something tells me this could be helpful to singles of the female variety too. We also find ourselves suddenly responsible for everything, even those things we’ve never done before. And eventually we discover that we can edge the lawn, take the vehicle to the repair shop, and even replace the thermostat on our dryer! I enjoy reading your writings, look forward to more.

    • Drew Ellenwood November 21, 2013 #

      Absolutely! Persons Trying to Survive. I don’t even know how to replace the thermostat on the dryer. I’m impressed.


  1. 2 Battle Strategies against the Refrigerator Beast | Drew Ellenwood - January 8, 2014

    […] your lady’s gone.  Whether by death or divorce or break-up or infirmity or non-existance, she’s not there to […]

  2. How to Make Cherry Pie | Drew Ellenwood - February 5, 2014

    […] us guys trying to survive, I’m going to start cooking class with a cherry pie.  And why not?  We could start with how to […]

  3. Sour Cream Chicken Enchiladas | Drew Ellenwood - March 26, 2014

    […] for another ‘Guys Trying to Survive.’  You’ve cleaned the refrig and made a pie.  Give yourself a hand.  Now, let’s make a […]

  4. Grocery Shopping: 4 Steps to Victory | Drew Ellenwood - April 29, 2014

    […] men.  (Or ladies trying to survive and reading this.)  Ask yourself:  Why bother with grocery […]

  5. The Process of Grief for Guys Trying to Survive Loss | Drew Ellenwood - May 14, 2014

    […] started “Guys Trying to Survive” because I was (am) trying to survive a loss.  So, man, you may find yourself struggling, too.  […]

  6. Macaroni and Cheese | Drew Ellenwood - October 11, 2014

    […] guys surviving.  Of course you know how to make mac&cheese. The instructions are the back of the box.  I’m […]

  7. Problems of Ending a TV Series Too Early | Drew Ellenwood - October 24, 2014

    […] All three of these TV series are excellent in the main corpus of their episodes, quite worthy to be enjoyed even if truncated. It’s just a sad reality of culture that art is sometimes trumped by business, whether from greed or through neglect or due to simple survival. […]

  8. Guys Trying to Survive on a Budget | Drew Ellenwood - June 2, 2015

    […] let me say I’m not a guy.  I am trying to survive but my survival is through a tight budget not through a relationship lost.  So feel free to take […]

  9. The Martian: A Review | Drew Ellenwood - June 25, 2015

    […] For that reason, the book was a fast read for me, truly one difficult to put down and get on with daily chores and the […]

Leave a Reply