The Wedding Planner: A Lesson Learned with Dona

Seven months is a good amount to be engaged. Not too long for the groom and just long enough to get a wedding planned.  Dona and I began with Doris, the church’s wedding planner.  Doris had the scoop on protocol. She procured the wedding décor from the church.  She knew where to go for flowers and punch… and wedding cake.

wedding planner


“Now about the cake,” started Doris, “You don’t want a white cake. People just throw the pieces away.”

“Too dry,” said I.

Doris said, “Drew, you remember the cake at your grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary?”

“Yeah, that was good cake,” I said.

“Banana,” Doris explained to Dona.

Dona choked a bit before saying, “Banana?”

Doris and I looked at her. I said, “O, it was good cake.”

“Definitely,” agreed Doris.

Dona slightly grimaced through a smile and said, “Okay. Good cake.”

Later, Dona confessed she was less than enthused about the choice but didn’t have an alternative idea. Once she actually tasted it, she agreed it was good cake.  She’d even scoped out a banana cake recipe later for the family.  I wonder now if that’s why she liked that recipe so much.

Back in the 80’s, weddings at our social strata didn’t feed you a meal. You got punch, a wedding cake, a groom’s cake, and if you were real lucky – nuts!

I don’t think we had nuts… at least not on the serving table.

Dona said for years after that she never got the chance to try the groom’s cake.

It was good cake, too.

wedding planner

Dona liked having Doris on the details. That way, Dona could focus on finding the dress and relaxing as a bride.

The bridesmaids on the other hand thought Doris was bossy. She wanted them to go down the aisle at just the right time and just the right speed.  Though during the processional I thought Jill might overtake Kim and pass her.

What did Dona think about the bossiness?  She didn’t mind at all.  She had fun as the bride.  Dona certainly had the wisdom to know when to breathe and enjoy.

There’s the lesson: A wedding isn’t to please anyone but the bride and groom.  A wedding doesn’t need to break the bank.  The bride doesn’t have to have a dress that costs as much as a car.  Parents don’t need to have a wedding vicariously through you.  People might expect a meal, but they don’t have to have one.

If you want white cake that ends in the trash, that’s okay. If you want a cake you like and it happens to be banana, go for it.

A wedding is a testament to the beginning of a marriage. It is not an end in itself.

wedding planner

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  1. October 16, 2014 #

    The best cake I ever had was at a wedding. It was Italian Creme Cake with toasted coconut all over it and it was the very best.

  2. October 16, 2014 #

    Great truth Drew! Thanks for sharing. I actually heard a study on Air1 this week that said there is a correlation between the cost of an engagement ring and wedding and the divorce rate. Apparently, the more someone spends on a ring and wedding the more likely they are to divorce. This didn’t really surprise me. Like you said, the wedding is not an end in itself. It’s about the bride, groom and their commitment to God and one another.

    • October 16, 2014 #

      Thanks for the comments, Amanda and Jeff. Isn’t that an interesting find about the expense of the wedding and the divorce rate. Poor, rich, middle – the wedding is only the title page.

  3. October 16, 2014 #

    It’s so much fun reading about your and Dona’s courtship and the early days together. Such a joy that the two of you got together and went on to create such a rich and good life together, one of God’s blessings to the two of you as well as to the beautiful children He also gave to you.

    I think banana cake sounds great. Or chocolate.

    And you are so right–the fancy show of the wedding day is only the beginning, not the all in all of a marriage.

    • October 24, 2014 #

      Thanks for reading and commenting, Ms. Turner. Weddings are fun, but a good marriage is a treasure that continues.


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